Psychologist weighs in on mom shaving daughter’s head for bullying

A mother has sparked fierce debate online after revealing she shaved her 11-year-old daughter’s head as punishment for bullying a classmate undergoing chemotherapy.

The story was shared on TikTok by content creator Daiana Birollo, who said the mother emailed her to explain why she chose the controversial punishment. While many praised the decision, psychologists and education experts are divided over whether it teaches empathy or simply causes more harm.

According to Birollo, the mother said she was shocked to learn her daughter had repeatedly mocked a classmate who had lost her hair during cancer treatment.

The girl had recently changed schools, and her parents believed she was a polite, well-behaved student. They were only made aware of the bullying after being called into an urgent meeting with school officials.

The school reportedly told them that their daughter and several friends had repeatedly laughed at the classmate’s bald head despite receiving multiple warnings.

Birollo said the victim became so distressed that she later attempted to take her own life.

The mother said the revelation left her questioning everything she thought she knew about her daughter.

After reflecting on how to respond, the mother decided to shave off her daughter’s long hair.

“I didn’t want to take her phone away or ground her. I wanted something that would change her forever,” Birollo recalled.

She admitted both she and her daughter cried during the haircut but said she doesn’t regret the decision.

The family also visited the victim’s home so the girl could apologize in person.

Childhood education specialist Claire Cameron said the punishment could help the girl better understand what her classmate experienced by temporarily sharing a similar appearance.

However, she cautioned that it could also be traumatic depending on how it was handled.

Cameron also questioned whether a forced apology truly builds empathy, suggesting it is more meaningful to encourage children to understand the impact of their actions rather than simply saying sorry.

Youth mental health expert Tracy Vaillancourt took a stronger stance, arguing that shaving a child’s head is overly punitive and mirrors the same misuse of power seen in bullying.

Instead, she said accountability, sincere apologies, and addressing the root causes of bullying are more effective responses.

Both specialists stressed that bullying often reflects broader emotional or family issues rather than isolated bad behavior.

They encouraged parents to work closely with schools, seek counseling where appropriate, and help children develop empathy and healthy emotional skills instead of relying solely on punishment.

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